The omnireachability syndrome

Like everyone else on this planet, I have a cell phone. Nothing special about that. While I have it on me and switched on, I can be reached everywhere and always. No surprises here too. However, what many people do not realize, is that this omnireachability can seriously deform you. It starts very subtly, but when it is left undiagnosed for too long it will cause serious social and behavioural deformation.

Early symptoms of the omnireachability syndrome are:

• breaking into a cold sweat when you suddenly realize that you forgot to switch on your cell phone,
• having slight feelings of doubt when switching off your cell phone.

If you recognize these symptoms it could well mean that you have been infected too. Don't panic! You are only mildly deformed and there is still hope for you. Just realize what is happening to you and be extra aware of the serious symptoms:

• always leaving your phone switched on and on a loud ring setting no matter where you are or what you are doing,
• always answering any call even in the middle of a meeting (not feeling bothered when witnessing such behaviour basically comes down to the same symptom...),
• getting into a serious panic after discovering that your cell phone's battery has less than 5 minutes worth of power left while having no opportunity of recharging it for the next hour or so,
• feeling very restless and being unable to focus when you suddenly realize that you have left your cell phone somewhere,
• feeling light headed at the thought of having to switch off your cell phone (and fainting when accidentally switching it off).
  

People who have all of these symptoms should be really worried. They are severely deformed and should be sent on a long holiday to some isolated island where no telco has coverage.